Sober Up

song: Jason Upton / Faith / "Gideon (Valley/Victory)" & "Freedom Reigns"


There's nothing more sobering than the news a doctor gives you - to go home and prepare to die, there's nothing we can do. They gave that prognosis to my aunt 15 months ago and now, she is finally at the door, the doctors say. Constant pain, infection, and a situation where operating would likely hasten death so she is go home and prepare to die.

And this brings me to a place where I am relatively healthy and yet in bondage to sin, not living fully alive and free in the Lord and it seems pathetic. Furthermore, this is the time where I'm tempted to doubt the Lord and his goodness but I have to remember, and remember I do, that she will be joining Jesus and all of the saints in Heaven. Victory is yours Lord, victory is yours Lord, victory is yours Lord - all of Heaven rejoices.

So I pray God, please bring me strength to see you at work in what seems to be something so horrible and to trust that you will work through this to bring her closer to you as well as the rest of us. I pray that it is the desire of my heart to draw nearer to you and really find the Freedom of the Lord, water to quench my eternal thirst, an end to addiction to porn and need to rely on myself. God change me, change my heart, make me more like you - I pray you'd reign in my heart Father, you'd change me from the inside out, for good. I pray for the day where the wrong becomes right and we can bask in your glory and praise you in the way we were meant to, I pray that you'd continue to win my heart and seal it for you Lord, prepare me for this day... and help me have an desire to stay on fire for you, to trust you, to love you Jesus.

I pray it'd be more than a song but that it would be real...

Whatever you're burdened with tonight, Whatever you struggle with tonight, There is Freedom, There is freedom. Nobody is looking at you tonight. Nobody is looking at you tonight, The eyes of the Lord is moving to and fro throughout the Earth, Seeking an heart that's completely his. Jesus you reign in this place, Showers of mercy and grace, Falling on ev'ry face, There is freedom. (from Freedom Reigns)


And I must keep telling myself that God is saying it now as he was saying it three years ago and will continue saying it:

Don't let anyone, don't let anything hold you back
Don't let anything hold you back, Don't let anything hold you back
Father is calling you. (Come up here (John on the Isle of Patmos version)

Jesus, Have mercy on me! Deliver me from this continual state of running from you and running back to you - change me, take away my addictions and make me more like you - help me find peace, joy, and satisfaction in following you, in serving you - please Lord! Help me follow your word and not let stupid things get in the way between me and you - you want my heart and you want all of it and help me desire to give you all of it! This life is fleeing from me too - help me see that my days are numbered too - help me to make the most of them Lord!