Surprise Parties, and Intellectualism and the Gospel

Surprise Parties
So, my girlfriend is sweet. She threw me a surprise graduation party under the guise of a date and, well, I was fooled. I'm amazed my group could keep a secret like that and it was pretty sweet. She even invited some people from my major - people who don't go to our church. I was floored when they arrived, booze and all! More floored when a cop showed up because we were being "too loud" according to one of our neighbors. "Too loud" in this case included music being played off a laptop's speakers and some people having a conversation on the porch and others having talking and having a good time inside. No debauchery, no outbursts of laughter, no fun... except for me, I was having fun but it was in my soul, not audible as loudness. Anyway, good times. I just hope that we can have that date that I thought we were going to have. Facebook will be updated in a few hours.

Intellectualism
I'll try to be brief, not usually a skill of intellectuals but one I try to practice anyway -- we've all got a lot of stuff to do. Intellectuals need good books to read, people to talk to, and teachers who will help them learn more. I get it and I encourage those people (probably including myself) to pursue those things but I would exhort them to consider their place in the Church. I think intellectuals are needed to fulfill several functions in the local church: to care about and try to understand the finer points of the Bible and Faith and help make those accessible to the masses; to help ensure that we are reflecting, in Chandler's words, "The Manifold Wisdom of God" in the ways we conduct ourselves; and to help ensure we are worshiping and living in "Spirit and Truth."

These could be blended together in a soup, sliced and diced however you may but a central point remains. God has gifted intellectuals with a desire (hopefully) and a capacity to understand just a little bit more than the rest of us about the scriptures and the world around us. "Just a little bit more" is subjective and relative -- though our understanding is still no where near what God's understanding is, at times we are spectacularly flabbergasted by the insanity that some pastors and laypeople have exhibited in the Church. In times like this, it seems as if loving others and trying not to judge are tasks that I doubt that I could ever perform short of living an empowered life.

I feel your pain and all I can say is that there's no life in trying to withdraw yourself from others and their splendid mistakes. All of these instances are evidences for why the church needs you to at least pray, and at most lovingly point out the mistake WHEN GOD APPOINTS. This involves waiting, praying, listening, being humble, loving. If you want to grow as an intellectual, you'll do these things and not be so quick to rebuke and shut down others. You are a part of the body and when you leave, you take something with you. I shouldn't have to explain this but I will -- God established this time for us to be together and when you withdraw to other places, you're taking a gift set that he gave you to bless one group and leaving for another. What good is it for all of the eyes to be together and all of the feet and hands to be in a different group?

This all being said, I think it is key that intellectuals be received and encouraged within the local church. Intellectuals who have a desire for God and his Glory are helpful. Examples of how they can serve the Church include discipling and teaching others, preparing materials, bring complicated topics and concepts down to a lower shelf so to speak, etc. Most of these roles are outward focused and it's not by accident. Intellectuals, and every other "group," need to understand that the fulfillment of the Christian life is a life that pours the Gospel, Love, (Spiritual) Gifts, Truth, etc. out on others and not a life where one holds onto such things in a vain attempt to accumulate as much as one can hold on to (which is much less than we might think).

The Christian life is not inwardly bent but it is bent outward, Christ comes, restores our right standing with God and gives us the Spirit, gives us Gifts, starts to lead us down the path of Progressive Sanctification (increasing Holiness), starts to heal us and show us his love. Though these things are for us, they are also for others, specifically to build up and glorify the body (church), to share the good news with others, and disciple, baptise, and teach those who embrace Jesus. When intellectuals say that they don't want to be a part of a community that doesn't want them, they can miss out on these parts of what make a full walk with Christ. When leaders make their groups places that are inhospitable to intellectuals, they miss out on the benefits that these people can offer young believers in their groups. Both responses deny what God is trying to do through putting people with different gifts in unit of the body of believers.

Moreover than this issue, I believe that intellectuals who fail to live outwardly bent lives, seeking to embrace what they are not strong or proficient in (loving others, loving those difficult to love, dealing with the rest, helping others to grow, being patient and waiting, etc.) risk missing out on a major way God moves to heal and bring joy to all believers. Doing ministry seems to be the example set in the scriptures, not endless study and rejection/separation of those who don't seem to get it.

Finally, I think it is key to remember that Jesus says that we are to come to him with Child-like faith. Not for one second do I believe that this means we are to check our brains or intellectualism at the door. After hearing one of Chandler's teachings about this recently, a key point seems to be that we are desperately dependent upon Jesus to atone for our sins, for the Holy Spirit to meet us in our time of need. Children need provision and cry out to their parents, change me, feed me, etc. This seems like such a good metaphor for the Christian walk, which at times feels more like being dragged and at other times like we're sprinting. I don't know about you but I've generally found my intellectualism as a hindrance to my pursuit of a Child-like faith... and going back to the basics seems to be a regular need in my walk. Why? Read it once and we're supposed to get it right? Well, I think it's because I have so much of a problem getting the basics down, fully and completely believing the basics in my heart of hearts, etc. To get it with my mind is not enough, and at times it is not refreshing to my often tired and weary soul in desperate need of being fully healed and made new. There's a freedom in Christ to move as we feel led -- for those who are feeling lead to focus on the obscure, that's sweet and all but in this season, I'm focusing on the basics (Gospels, Paul's exhortations, etc.). All I can offer for intellectuals is this: don't allow your study and life to lead to an obscuring of the Gospels and the reasons why and for what God has called us here to do! I believe God has greatly intended an outward focused life to be one of the major ways he shows us the finer points of Faith and trusting in Him. It's not only where the rubber hits the road, it's where what God is teaching us can be applied and used to help grow His Kingdom!

Thursday Thoughts

Note: Writing on this blog isn't going to become a daily thing but I want to share and ask for prayer.

I am not concerned that I will somehow escape the will of God or his plan for my life. I don't desire to hyper-spiritualize things either. That being said, this is a weird season that I'm in these days — very few planning jobs (the profession I'm educated in), and few other jobs to speak of. If I am willing to move, my prospects of finding something increase but at an expense. Simply, my impression of what God wants to do in my life with my community and in this time is growing and to leave at the beginning or middle of it seems to be, well, counter productive. This all said, I need a job and I'm not going to screw up his plans.... I know and want to submit all of this to the Lord and I don't believe that will hyper-spiritualizing anything. Beyond direction, I want to be submitted to his leading and direction. This is something that's important to me, a way of obeying and worshiping. I pray these things to God and now I put them on my blog, please pray that this would be a summer of intense growth and connection with Jesus and the Holy Spirit, a summer of healing, a summer of following, a summer of finding work and keeping my affairs in order.

your friend,
Eric

Freedom? — Yes, Freedom in Christ

On Sunday, I put on my solar heat collector (black graduation robe) and marched into Ohio Stadium. Three hours later I had three photographs of me taken as I walked up to someone who wore a more fancy robe than I, shook their hand, and received my white envelope. In side, a piece of paper recognizing my two years of work and the result of $40,000 of student loans. Dazed and realizing this is probably the last time I'll get to walk on the field at Ohio Stadium, I took a few minutes to soak up the moment. Looking around, I saw parents and family members snapping shots of the graduates as well as fellow graduates getting into groups and taking photographs on the field. Many were excited and full of emotion. I stood there holding my crocks (shoes) in one hand and my diploma in the other. My bare feet trying to pinch the fake grass between my toes, striving for some sense of awareness. Minutes later, I walked through crowds of very diverse families — some waiting and others rejoicing and taking photographs with their new graduates. Regardless of ethnicity or race, Black families, Indian families, Asian families, and White families alike were celebrating the achievement of their newest graduate family member. I wonder why they are so excited. Was graduating from college such a challenge or even a question? I know that not all graduate and I know from friends that it can sometimes take a full decade to get through as an undergrad. Regardless, graduating the first time felt normal and now, graduating for the second time it felt surreal as I walked through the crowds toward my father who came to watch the ceremony.

A few days later, I sit unemployed and looking at job postings. Many are in far away places and I'm fine with moving but in many respects, I don't want to move on. In many respects moving on seems like something that would be paralyzing and come at the wrong time.... I finally have time for art, pursuing God and relationships, and most importantly, I finally have met someone I really like and I think that it's safe to say we're dating. Beyond the anxiety, this could be a really good season to stay in Columbus for... with the sole exception of the whole employment thing. The number of choices seem crippling and everything being up in the air (thinking about moving again) at the same time seems at times as if it is too much to bear. While in school, the directive was simple: pay money (loans), do the work well, pass classes, work internships, and graduate. Now, it is get a job (more outside of my control than I'm usually comfortable with) and live life. There's little structure and lots of ambiguity.

I don't like this place but I know that this is the place where faith grows. This is the place where I need to come to Jesus in prayer and ask, Lord — what should I do? In many respects, I don't expect a bright neon sign or an audible voice but the Lord has been clear with me about such things before and he can do so again. If anything is apparent over the past few years, pursuing what he wants for me is the best thing that I can do in my life. In many aspects I have dreams and aspirations and though I do believe God moves and works through those things as well, I believe he has plans and processes that he moves us through to mature us, to draw us closer to him, to help us increase in the measure of Christ-likeness. If this is a time that will lead to those things, all the more wonderful a season this will be. In past years I've felt like my life has been on hold and now I can be more purposeful about finding and walking out the things he'd have for me — hopefully here but if I need to move, hopefully wherever I go. All of this makes me nervous but I know Christ is with me and in him, I can survive and thrive in the season of unknown around the corner.... My desire is to grow in him and I pray that this happens in great abundance over the this season.

Finishing up in Style (3 days until the ceremony!)

I'm done. It would be a sweeter feeling if I didn't feel so hung-over from the marathon session of final projects and commitments for the quarter — including an all-nighter and not eating food for almost 30 hours.

Things with one of my studio courses got so far out of whack that I barely had enough time to prepare for a final exam and didn't have enough time to complete my group project (second studio) in another class. Due at midnight Tuesday, it was delivered in full by 3pm Wednesday. Luckily, I have profs who can be okay with things like that. This is all done now... sure in a few weeks I'll be revisiting that project and trying to turn it into something I can be proud of but for now I'm done.

And the Lord was with me. I so wanted to quit and I so wanted to give up this whole week. There were times when I thought I was headed toward disaster, times when I was accused of doing bad things, times when I thought I might lose my "manlihood" — or at least this is what it all felt like. In the end, the Lord was protecting and making sure that I would get done. He made my group project, which relied upon the highly buggy and unstable CommunityViz plug-in for ArcGIS, finally start working okay after days of work and losing progress, etc.

Today, I clean -- laundry is in the wash, stuff is getting cleaned up, I shaved, I showered (first time in 48+ hrs). I'm getting a haircut later today -- like the man who comes out of the wilderness, I'm getting a haircut (needed since I haven't had one in like 5 or 6 weeks) and trying to get back some sense of normalcy in my life, or at least appearance.

Well, thank you all who were praying for me and I hope to see some of you tonight at small-group. Bests to all and I hope this will be a great summer of growing closer to God, experiencing new freedom in multiple realms, and hopefully this will include employment as well...

God Bless and have a great day,
Eric