Making Choices / Church Decision #1

CHURCH CHOICE DILEMMA EXPOUNDED
I write to provide insight for those who read this about the situation I am in trying to figure out what church I am to become a part of for the next two years of my life. A lot of people may ask — Eric, why do you have to try to figure these things out and make a big deal about this stuff. Here's what I'll say...

I view the decision of submitting myself to and being a part of a church as being one of the most important decisions and things in my life. From Jesus and in part through the church, I experience joy, purpose, healing, strength, and a lot of other intangibles that I can't get from anywhere else. This is my life, my faith, my focus.

On this issue, the question of what church should I be a part of is a heavy question and one that is first of all flawed. I am a part of two bodies of believers, Mosaic and Vineyard Church of Columbus and even if I made a decision, I must realize that Iam a part of both and that this will not change.

Second, there are differences in the churches and I will not be able to affect either - they are, for the most part, static and seemingly monolithic organizations that move because God collectively directs their members to action. This is actually a good thing. Both churches have unique goals and purposes and I've got to realize this.

MOVING TOWARD CONSENSUS? - part 1
In realizing this, I am now thinking that it is not wise for me to submit myself under the leadership of Mosaic because I share vastly more in common with the Vineyard as a movement, a church, a community. In other words, their vision is guiding my life right now. Even if I tried to align myself under Mosaic, I don't know if I could. Not to question God's provision, if it is God's will that I return, I don't think it would be possible for me to "box" the things Vineyard has done to me. I'd have to do this because they have changed the way I think and the way I act and in this, some of my actions would be what I have to submit to my leadership and would become, maybe, a subject of scrutiny. I could try but I'd fail and this would maybe help but probably more likely hurt Mosaic by creating descension.

HOW DIFFERENT ARE CHURCHES?
As I talk with friends about this, it's important to note that most churches are 98% the same but the 2% are things that people can spend a lifetime battling over if they wanted to. My beef in this situation is probably a "me-being-stupid" issue over being a "2%" kind of issue and I'm not casting judgment on anyone or any church but I'll just say here and now, if it is not exclusively God's will that I go to Mosaic, I don't think I will. At the end of the day, God's will is obviously the key thing but I'm not really sure this is an area where he has a specific desired direction for me.

GODLY DECISION MAKING
Most of life's decisions are like stupid like "to eat honey-glazed ham or hickory-smoked ham?" These are situations where a right answer is not easy to discern (because obviously hickory-smoked ham is sinful - note the sarcasm). In those kinds of situations, as well as the serious ones, I think God cares about the condition of our heart and whether we are trusting Him over the outcome of the actual decision.

For those worried about God's will, don't fret as God is God and when he wants to change our minds, he can and sometimes he does. (I don't think this interferes with free choice but that's besides the point). This situation regarding the changing of church membership seems large but to my amazement has been devoid of God throwing the big neon light sign out there to tell me what to do. It has been something that I've had to explore with the help of many - thank you - and certainly a question that won't be answered easily.

MOVING TOWARD CONSENSUS - part 2
Considering this lack of neon lighted sign and the difficulty of me trying to align myself under Mosaic's leadership, I have to find some other way of making a decision. As I sit here, analyzing at least four lines of argument for or against, I realize the array of the matrix of issues is larger than I have the desire to blog about, or that you probably want to ready about. Summarizing my thoughts, here, I will try.

1. — I could probably be fruitful at both churches.
2. — There would seemingly be less discomfort and trouble at Vineyard because I'm there and I already know people.
3. — I believe I could be obedient to God regardless of what church I am ultimately at.
4. — I think I would be more happy at Vineyard.
5. — I have more faith in what God is doing at Vineyard than I do at Mosaic. I have some faith and tons of hope for what God is and could do through Mosaic and it is exciting for me but as for now, this is but hope and faith for what could be and has yet to be completed.
6. — It seems unwise for me to try to insert myself into someone else's organization and vision if I am not in 100% agreement with what they think and how they choose to do it. We will probably never be 100% in agreement but we should try to submit as best we can.
7. — I need to learn how to respect what God is leading other people to do, especially when that leading is different than the one he has given me.
8. — I need a community of people to help me with the struggles of my life. I've tried to shelf this issue as much as possible but I can't.
9. — Regardless of whether I stay or go, God has used this time to change me and grow me in my faith in him. I know I am still to take risks, still to look for better ways to invest what He has given me and this is something to focus on after this period of time.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
This may seem pretty obvious by now but please pray that if it is God's will that I return, I would do so obediently and with the right frame of mind.

For those praying for me and my aunt, she has now slipped officially into a coma and is sliding away. Please pray for all of this.

Also, I just finished reading Night by Elie Wiesel and you need to read this book - it will change your life.