Ecclesiastes 7:2
It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.
These is how Matt Chandler ponders upon the realities at hand; recently being diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, of which the surgeons were unable to fully remove. Chemo and radiation start after the first of the year. Matt presses on as he believes that there is still more that the Lord desires for him to do as a pastor, teacher, husband, and father. See his video update here.
I am thankful for you Matt and I pray that someday I could serve the Lord like you!
Curling up with a Matt Chandler podcast is a moment of sanity and learning in an otherwise dry and desolate place. Post graduate school, I find that I need stimulation — especially because I don't get it at work. I love to learn, and more so, I desire to be more like Jesus. Not all the time, I must confess, but enough that when I do desire it, I sit and listen and learn! This man has helped shape me in ways I wish I could express. I am thankful and I pray that I can be used likewise in my life.
And it's quarter-life crisis time, again.
This time for real. I have both a Bachelor's and a Master's, I work at a call center, and I wonder when is the time that I'll get to actually live life and do something. This, of course, neglects the fact that I am doing just that right now, except that I'm assuming that right now doesn't count and that it's a waste until later. That's of course not true but this is what it seems like. I am one of many smart, educated, and talented young professionals trapped in dead-end jobs waiting for the job market to catch up with the labor market.
I'm learning to be okay with it but honestly, I wonder now why I majored in what I majored in and how I'll ever be able to get a job in it when the markets free up a bit. By then, there will be tons of fresh bodies out of school. I think about what education I'll get next to separate me from the pack. I think about what I've got to do to make it work — "just hold on, if I just do one more thing I can make it all work out..."
There I go again, placing faith in education and not God. Certainly education is good and encouraged by the church and the Bible but there's a narrow line that gets trounced all the time. Simply, one's worth is NOT dependent upon one's job, and second, one's education (and education leveraged by lots and lots of loan money) will NOT guarantee a job. I wish I knew this earlier and if I did, I probably would have tried harder to get a job out of undergraduate school or majored in something I had a 100% likelihood of getting a job with.
Maybe it is in this time that I need to more seriously consider church planting and theological education. Not because I need something more to help me get a job but because maybe without such a perfect storm, I'd never stop to ask "is this the career I wanted all along?" Certainly God could choose to let me know about such a call without such crazy things as a recession and the like, I don't want to imply that circumstances alone bring me to this conclusion. More than circumstances, I desire (a lot of the time) to be a pastor and a church planter, to be used by the Lord to help grow and disciple his Church. I pray that I have opportunities to do this, and Lord willing, that I could do this as my job.
I will rejoice no matter the outcome of this season, but knowing that he's in control and desires something good for me helps me to have hope. He has provided thus far, just what I've needed and my prayer is that he'll bring me all the way through his plan and eventually call me home. If I remain a poor man who dies at an early age and lives a life that Glorifies him, I will be happy. Lord, please show me how to live a life that Glorifies you, help me best fulfill your plans and purposes for my life.
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1 comment:
Hey there, friend..
Two things:
1) Be careful not to look back and regret decisions regarding your education. Learning from them is healthy, but dwelling on what you wish you would have done, or should have done will only cause you to lost sight of the place God has you in right now.
2) Your grasp of His goodness and provision is something I strive to obtain- not that you're perfect in this area, but I find myself often being upset about things that I don't have in my life that I often feel entitled to (a car, an apartment/home NOT with my mom, a stable home life), and thus conclude that because I do not possess these things, that God isn't looking out for me, doesn't care for me, etc. I know it's not true, and I'm not in that place right now, but I can say that when I have been in that place recently, that words that you have said to me personally or in group about His goodness and His desire to provide good things for us have echoed. Thank you.
3) Okay, three things... Please, please, please, do not forget that He gives us opportunities to serve Him in packages that we might not be looking for. I'm not entirely convinced that you are looking for one specific thing that looks all shiny and mysterious, but if you are... please, open your eyes and your heart. Just be open to whatever opportunity He sets forth before you.
Thanks for keeping it real :)
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