An Ambition for Hell?

I'm taking some time to digest. I just finished watching the movie There Will Be Blood and have found it quite disturbing. Why? Because perhaps I identify more with Daniel Plainview that I'd like to admit. Like Plainview, I have an appetite to be an ambitious man.

Perhaps a measure of ambition is a quality of all men. In some it is extinguished when they lose faith in their ability to do anything useful — or in other words they believe they are failures. Still others may cease trying because they know that their ambition has or could become a God, leading them to abandon or disregard their responsibilities. Knowing this, still a few more indulge their ambition and go for it no matter the cost, as shown by Plainview's example in the film.

As someone who has a measure of ambition, and perhaps some hopes and dreams, how can one pursue such ambitions without allowing one's life and faith to be hi-jacked and from turning into a Daniel Plainview?

Bringing it home, I realize that the moments where I turn toward and press into the Lord are usually the moments right after I realize that I have failed again. When I realize I have failed at holding to the Lord's standard or, more regularly, failed at being "successful" in pursuing my own desires (and realize how inferior they are to the Lord and all that he longs to offer to me). I must praise Jesus that I am not more "successful" (by worldly standards) for success is seemingly an indicator that you are doing something right. I praise Jesus for Grace for I am not "succeeding," whatever that means, by the Lord's standard.

And again, I get bored and start to once again pursue something else to hold my time, suit my fancy. This past week it was adding some really cool plug-ins to SimCity 4 and starting to build a new region. Slightly fun but ultimately frustrating and more so an udder waste of time and worship.

Less trivial, I have been working on some projects between phone calls at work. In short, an analysis of where the missing opportunities are for incorporating simple technology into new and old homes to make them more energy and resource efficient. A noble goal and something that I find quite interesting. Somewhere in my mind I believe that I could be successful at integrating these technologies and seeing homes built that embrace them. Other than desiring to be an entrepreneur who wears jeans, gets my hands dirty, and works from my home or a workshop, I really desire no fame or adoration. I'm not planning my life-time achievement award or anything. I am so conflicted because the things that matter like pressing in to Jesus and seeing his will done through loving, serving, and carrying my cross seem to pale in comparison to the more futile desires of succeeding in games or at other "noble pursuits."

A few years back, I was at a Breathe Festival and while praying, I heard a small voice saying that he wanted me to get rid of my computer, camera, and basically all of my technology equipment. Not wanting to accept that it was from the Lord and not believing that it was necessary to follow through, I chose not to. Though I can't be certain that this was the Lord or that I have really made an error here, the wisdom has become clearer. Every morning I wake up and bow down to the computer idol, getting email, news and weather from the internet. I could be praying and thanking God that I am alive and well, able to do his work for hopefully another day. No, I am busy with my own vain pursuits. I could say there are worse pursuits but such distinctions don't really matter in God's economy.

The point here is simple, God needs to be first and I need to leave it all to him. If something good happens, it is by his grace. If nothing "good" from my perspective seems to happen, so be it for I will be in my Father's house soon enough and the troubles of this world will be behind me.

And back to ambitions, are these bad or good, and are they mine or given to me from him? I think some would think that we need to look at what the ambitions are, and what we are sacrificing in order to pursue them. Some may be tempted to try to parse out a grid-work of what are good and bad ambitions or goals. I'll try to make it as simple as possible:

We should make it our ambition to love Jesus and follow his instruction, both commandments in the Word and what we hear from him in prayer. Everything else is secondary, period.

For any ambitions that remain, they must be secondary to this first ambition and this first ambition leads to one place and that's to the cross where we come and die every day for the rest of our lives. This is a tough word but it is a wonderful word. I don't have to do it, I don't have to succeed to make it. All I need to do is submit to his leading and direction and allow him to do what he is going to do.

And does this mean that we abandon our ambitions and goals? If the Lord says abandon these desires, then yes, release and repent of these distractions and additions. On the contrary, if the Lord has given us these ambitions and desires for us to healthily pursue in a way that is within his Will and desires for our lives and the lives of those around us, then pursue them as he allows. Pursue in prayer, with all our minds and with the strength of our hands. It is important to keep placing these things at the feet of the cross and continually ask, Lord, do you (still) want me to pursue this to which you have called me to strive and persevere for? Brothers and sisters, be faithful, let this be your act of worship!

The Lord will provide for me. I pray that I will get to be an entrepreneur and have the joy of being able to work with my hands and see the fruits of my labor. Whether that's through my job, or with my dreams, my family, my friends, or perhaps never in any practical or apparent way, I will forever praise the name of the Lord because he is worthy and my life is his, it was bought by the blood of Jesus and I place my hope in him and not some flimsy and worthless ambition. These things will all wilt, die, and eventually burn. What remains is the Word, the Truth, the Trinity, and millions of souls exclaiming Worthy is the Lamb of God! There will always be work to be done here but it should never come at the expense of our faith, our worship, and our love for all and most especially those who by the divine plan of God were meant to intersect with our lives.


Matthew 6
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.