An open letter

Dear friends, I am wrong.

Perhaps for some of you, you already know this and are the patient and diligent in praying type — I am thankful for you. But last Wednesday, a friend of mine helped me understand that I am wrong.

I notice details and I am usually quite critical. In the past nine months, my attention had been directed toward my church. Things that I had noticed bothered me and my first response was to talk to others. Prideful and not worried about causing problems, I would speak to people about the things I noticed rather than to the pastors or leaders I had a problem with. Doing so caused division and I knew it and knew it was wrong. This concern for things at my church has grown to the point that I was feeling like I needed to leave my church, maybe my small group, etc.

Talking with a friend the other night, we worked through my problems. A feeling as if everything is messed up and as if things are wrong and as if I need to leave. When asked to give specific reasons why I feel the way I do, I provided some but through this discussion, it was very difficult to identify smoking guns. With the help of my friend, I think I am realizing that this very well could be the effect of demonic influences.

I don't like using such words so lightly but I've been told by others that Satan's toolbox usually includes using confusion in order to obscure Truth and seize an opportunity to use emotions to mess with us. This seems to be one of those cases. I need to be able to deal with the fact that others are sinful and that they are responsible before Jesus for their actions. Also, that Jesus is in control and he's take care of it. This is not to obscure my role or diminish how he may use me but I have not felt his leading to respond in any of the ways I have. So, yes, I am wrong.

I've written a good number of things over my life, some of them here. Those critical of my church need to be taken with a few grains of salt.

This being said, I am very much fearful of two false teachings. I'll coin these as Self-Righteousness gospel and the Justice gospel. Both are false teachings or theologies that are destroying our churches and both must be stopped. My friend assures me that we are not preaching either. I pray that he's right, that the line will be further established and that these false gospels will be exposed and that people will move away from them. But if anything is apparent now, it is that Satan wants us to just sit around, talk it up and become more divided.

In reality, we need to be pushing those around us to be seeking out the Father and relying on the Word to help us understand our time and our world. I don't want to be the judge — something that precludes me from experiencing the humility, grace, and Truth that come from Jesus. Knowing this, I also do not want my brothers and sisters to be led astray and I don't want my God to be dishonored or to have his glory stolen from him. The line is a tough one to see until one goes to far and though others say that I have yet to cross it, I believe I have and I am sorry. My speech should be honoring of my elders, I should take my concerns to the Father and to these elders.

That's all I've got for right now....