Discontent

Oh Lord, please be my light and my hope now. Please take from me my anger, my anguish, my judgment. Father, be my peace, by my joy.

I am surrounded by the stench of death and I am angstful. At this hour, I am upset. Like many, I have crazy student loans. I almost lost my job in the past month — that is an internship with a 30 minute commute that pays me a meager wage. By the grace of God, he provides for me and I should be more thankful.

I am judgmental though. In my financial state, I was forced and I willingly made decisions that were unwise — where others take advantage of me. As a result, I am angry and envious. In other matters, I continue to be under-compensated when I provide services to others. Oh I pray that God will make me a better steward and help me make the choices that I need to make. I pray that I may be more shrewd, more compassionate, and more wise. I pray for a way out of this cycle of debt and its bondage.