I wish I could say that my heart was forever true, forever loyal, forever seeking out the heart of God but I can't. I am an adulterous believer and certainly one who needs the Grace of a Father who loves me like nothing else in the world.
But how do we respond when we realize we've been living in a period of sin and emotional rejection of the Father? First, repent! Second, ask the Father to change your heart and help us be conformed to Jesus!
I know we all struggle with this but putting my struggle into words, it's like I'm fighting my very sense of self because the sin and the desires of the flesh seem to be the entirety of my existence when I am not close to God. The enemy uses all that is bad that I love and uses it to slip a wedge between me and God and I've got to realize this more and be unrelenting in my desire to be connected back to the Father — to trust Him, to seek Him, to live by Him.
Repeatedly crawling back to the Father seems to be a faux pas in the Christian world (that believes you are to have your life together always) but in reality, it is one of the things that separates us from the rest of the world. We are to live our lives by Christ and as he instructed, we must repent and turn toward the Father. Faith and the Christian life is hard, messy, and sometimes an emotionally difficult and sometimes even a sad venture but it is the only way to find and experience true life. Such is the life of someone who endures dying to one's self in order to find life in Christ. The answer is to be humble and submitted to Christ and count every blessing as a gift of God, Salvation being the most amazing and life-filled gift you could ever receive! When I figure out how to do this completely, I'll share the secret with the World!
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